The Wilderness

Originally Written Between 2016-2017                                          

 

“Bye!”

“Thanks so much for the ride!”

“Hope to see you again!”

“Have a safe flight!”

 

After Judy and I exchanged hugs and kisses, I grabbed my two suitcases and large black tote and waved “goodbye” as she drove off and I entered the Orlando airport.

 

I said to myself, “Okay, now I just have to grab my boarding pass and find my driver’s license and get into the baggage line.”  And that is when I discovered that I did not have my purse.  You see, I had placed my little black purse in my big black tote that was filled with my Nook, a magazine, and a jacket. But, during our drive to the airport, the sun came out and I took my sunglasses out of my little purse.  I then just placed my little purse on the floor of the car – instead of back in the large tote.

 

I became frantic.  “What do I do now?  “Alright, just settle down and think!”  But, I couldn’t settle down.  I just turned in tiny circles – looking for someone to help me.  Surely they must have a Travelers’ Information kiosk somewhere.  I looked.  Couldn’t find one.  I even asked another traveler if she knew where I could find some help.  She said, “no,” and kept on walking away from me.  I don’t blame her – I must have looked like a crazy person.  Which – by the way – I was.

 

I was crazy.  Talking to myself – out loud!  “What do I do?”  “I know – I’ll just call Joanne, my sister, and have her call her friend, Judy, to come back to the airport.  I look in my big tote and that is when I realized that my iPhone was in my little black purse!  So…. No purse.  No phone.  No credit card.  No driver’s license.  And, even if I did find a payphone, I had no money! – those items were all in my purse.  I did have my boarding pass, however.  A lot of good that was going to do me since I had to show proof of who I was with my license!  The line to check my baggage was getting longer and longer.

 

Now, besides being frantic and crazy.  I am now whimpering.  Finally, I see a worker pushing a woman in a wheelchair.  He helped her get into the line and I stopped him.  “I’ve left my purse in the car of the person who dropped me off.  Could you help me find a phone?  He offered to lend me his cell phone.  I, of course, took him up on his kind offer.

 

It’s then that I realized that I don’t have my sister’s phone number.  It’s in my contact list on my iPhone!  And, my iPhone is in my purse – that’s in the car that is now probably 30 miles away from me.

 

The only number I knew was my home phone number.  Hopefully, Norm would be home.  But, Norm doesn’t answer the phone if he doesn’t recognize the number on the readout.  This is where I experienced my first miracle:  Norm answered the phone.  Now, you may or may not know it, but even though Norm has hearing aids, he doesn’t hear well when on the phone.  So, here I am, at the Spirit Airline counter, YELLING into a stranger’s phone telling Norm that I need Joanne’s phone number.  “Huh?”  “What?” “Who?”  “Why?”  I repeated my answers several times and finally he finds Joanne’s cell number in our address book.  Another problem, I didn’t have anything to write down her number.  Scratch paper and a pen were in my purse.  Which, as you know by now, was in Judy’s car.  Miracle #2 - The Spirit Airlines employee behind the counter obviously heard my story because I was yelling into the phone, and gave me her pen.  I grabbed an extra paper luggage tag on the counter and wrote down her number. 

 

I hang up and dialed Joanne’s number.  If you are wondering why she didn’t drive me to the airport – well, that’s another story.  Let’s just suffice it to say that the reason is that a few weeks’ ago, she was texting and walking at the same time and walked right off the curb.  The first part of her body that hit the street was her left elbow – which was dislocated about two inches up her arm.  Surgery happened, therapy needed three times a week.  Her hubby, Chuck, had back surgery the day after her elbow surgery.  It was the “blind leading the blind” scenario.  So, Mary came to Florida to be the head therapy coach, chauffeur, and chief cook and bottle washer.  Chuck had a doctor appointment scheduled for the time my plane was leaving and Joanne needed to be with him to support him when he heard the results.  So, she arranged to have her friend, Judy, drive me to the airport.

 

Back to my story – Joanne is famous for not answering her phone if she doesn’t know the number!  Miracle #3 – she answered!  I told her my sob story and she said she would call Judy and have her come back to the airport.

 

I did have my boarding pass because I had placed that in a zippered pocket in my large tote bag.  So, hoping they wouldn’t ask for my driver’s license, I got in the long line to check my luggage.  When it was my turn, I placed the luggage on the scale and handed the clerk my boarding pass.  The clerk next to her had a question and for the next five minutes, my clerk helped the other clerk out.  Miracle #4:  My clerk came back to me, stamped my boarding pass, threw my luggage on the moving ramp – all without asking me for my license!  I’m not sure; but, I think she was the one who gave me the pen and knew my predicament.

 

I walked outside and waited for Judy.  I found out that when Joanne had called Judy, she was 20 miles away from the next exit where she could turn around to head back to the airport.  And, that doesn’t even count the miles she drove before she got my sister’s phone call.

 

So – again….. “Bye!”  “Thanks for coming back!”  “I owe you!”  “No problem….have a safe trip!”  And, then I get in the security line.  Yes, the L O N G,    L O N G,    L O N G security line.  Forty minutes later, I make it to the x-ray machine.  Of course, with my  two artificial hips, the bells and whistles went off.  Someone said, “Female Assist!!”  Now, my question here is:  “There are hundreds of people going through these checkpoints.  At least half must be female.  Even if it isn’t half-and-half, why can’t they have a “female assist” woman at every checkpoint so I wouldn’t have to hold up the line, wait for several minutes for someone to meander over, slowly put on her latex gloves, and pat me down.

 

Anyway – after grabbing my purse, tote, carry-on bag, and my shoes, I head to Gate 34.  Which, just happened to be located in another terminal.  I had to take one of those “trains” to another building.  After another 15 minutes of walking to Gate 34 and stopping on the way to buy a bottle of pop and a Nut Goodie candy bar, I sit down and sigh!  Just then, an announcement over the loud speaker said, “Zone 1 is now boarding.”

 

I was in Zone 1.  I made it!  Another miracle.