Writings of Mary Vogel McGraw

Originally Written in 2017   Instead of reading my Christmas newsletter or reading a story, I’d like to share with you what happened to me this week.  Some things that make it a  Different Kind of Christmas  for me.  Call it strange – or maybe odd or inexplicable are better words – but, different anyway.     This is a  Different Kind of Christmas  for me this year.  You all know about the trials and tribulations of trying to get my aunt and uncle to each sign a Power of Attorney, Health Directive and Will before they passed away last December.  And… of course, the headache and heartache of emptying their home of 67 years and selling the house, etc.      And, of course, being the main caregiver for my brother, Steve, who died on Father’s Day, was – and is – a very heartbreaking ordeal.  I miss him so much.   You may remember my missing our writing group meeting a couple of w...

Originally Written Between 2017-2020                                     I am a good driver.  Now, I may be the only one who thinks so; but, you just have to believe me.  Norm doesn’t. I’m doing most of the driving now and he is an unbearable “back-seat driver.”  He says it’s “payback” for all the back-seat driving that I did for years and years.  He may be right.   I really don’t like to drive – especially long distances.  Going to Duluth is about the right distance for me.  One-way, that is.  I don’t mind driving back to the Twin Cities after a full night’s sleep overlooking Lake Superior.  And that is what brings me to my story today.   Norm and I took our minivan to Duluth in September to watch two of our grandsons play football.  We stayed overnight at the Downtown Duluth Motel – which...

Originally Written Between 2017-2020                                                            It all started a couple of years ago.  I was driving to Writer’s Group on 119 th  when all of a sudden I noticed that every ½ block or so, my tires would drive over a manhole cover.  Sometimes the right-hand side of my car would hit the covers and sometimes the left-hand side would run over them.  There was no rhyme or reason for their location except one:  they were all lined up to have my car run over them.  This got me to thinking:  How Come…… the highway people don’t place the manhole covers along the side of the road so we don’t run over them?  How Come….. my car has to  go bump, bump, bump every 4 seconds?  How Come….. those college-educated eng...

Originally Written Between 2017-2020                                           “Hi, Mary.  This is Jane.  Dick and I will be in Minneapolis in a couple of weeks visiting our kids.  We’d love to get together for lunch and catch up on old times.  Are you available on Wednesday, the 15 th ?”   Well, we were available for lunch on that day and arranged to meet at our home and then go on to a restaurant.  We hadn’t seen our former neighbors since they had moved away a few years’ back and thought it would be nice to get together.   It is now Wednesday, June 15 th .  Noon.  We greet Dick and Jane at our door with hugs and the usual “good to see you!” and “you look great!” comments.  And those were practically the last words Norm and I spoke for the next six hours.   Their dog, a small dog nam...

Originally Written Between 2017-2020                                       My first recollection of <quote> “giving” is when my mom or dad would give me a dime or a quarter to place in the collection plate at my church.  I remember feeling very good about putting money in.  Of course, it wasn’t my money – it was mom and dad’s.  I don’t remember when I started placing my own money in the collection.  Since I have no memory – I’m afraid to admit that maybe I never did use my own money!   Remember the  March of Dimes ?  Every year in grade school we were given a card with little slots where you could place your dimes.  Not sure how many slots were on each card – maybe a dollar’s worth?  Anyway, I do remember using my own money to fill up my card....

 Originally Written Between 2017-2020                                            Years and years ago, I remember creating a mental list of what I would like to do in my life.  This list did not go past marriage and children.  At that young age, being married and having kids were all that I wanted.  If I was married, I would be happy.  If I had kids, I would be happy.  I never thought about how many kids I’d like.  I do remember Norm saying he thought he’d like 12 kids.  When I was in labor with Michael, our first child, I told Norm that he could have the other 11.     Although I didn’t know it at the time, my next set of goals was called plans.  I planned that we would have a house in a neighborhood with lots of playmates for our kids, we’d become involved in our church, and I’d b...

Originally Written Between 2017-2020                            When I was approaching retirement age, my mom gave me one piece of advice.  And that was:  “Don’t give up your car!”  To give you a little background, my parents were married in 1940.  They had one car.  They lived in Forest Lake and my dad was a bartender at the White Pine Inn in Bayport.  They lived only a couple of blocks from the grocery store, the post office, the hardware store, and the meat market; therefore, walking was the one mode of transportation that most wives used in those days.  There really wasn’t a need for two cars.   Dad had one rule, however.  If mom wanted to drive “HIS” car, she had to drive with the seat in the position set for my dad because he was not going to struggle getting into the car after mom had driven it.  Dad was 6’4”. ...

Originally Written in 2018                                                            What day is it?           What time is the movie?       Where are my shoes? What time is it?         Do I play golf today?             What time is the movie? Did I take my pills?   Did I set the alarm?              Does the trash guy come today? What time is the movie?   Such is a day in the life of someone who has a problem with remembering things.  We all have days in which we can’t remember if it’s Monday or Wednesday, if we took our meds or not or whe...

Originally Written Between 2017-2020                     Do you recall the games you played as a kid? I’m sure you do. For most people, a big chunk of childhood nostalgia is bound up in board games such as Monopoly, Clue, Scrabble, and Yahtzee.  We also played cards such as Old Maid, Go To The Dump, or as you got older, 500 or Bridge, Oh Hell, or Canasta.    Back in the days before electronics, kids were expected to go outside and play. Such play often did not involve much in the way of props.  Playing relied on imagination and energy. Many a mother simply said “you kids go outside and play,” and the kids did the rest.  Parents couldn’t drag kids  in  from outdoors at the end of the day.  Nowadays, electronics have taken over and now parents can’t drag them  out .  Sad, right?  Especially when the number of obese children is growing each year. ...

Written in 1997 at age 53   The summer went by so quickly.  The Halloween decorations have been in the stores since August and by now, we know the holiday season is approaching.  What happened?  Where did the time go?   I remember thinking many years ago that I couldn’t wait to be 21.  And now our youngest child is 22 herself, and I can’t help but wonder where those years went.   How I perceive the world is quite different now that I’m looking at the world through 53-year-old eyes and five-year-old bifocals.  At times, I wish my arms were just a little bit longer as I try to find a number in the phone book.  I choose where I shop very carefully – if the music in the store is hard-rock metal, I’ll turn around and leave.  I like the movie theaters that have soft, classical music soothing me before the show starts.  If the theater tries to entertain me with the local radio station blaring its “To...

Originally Written November 2019                                      Her name is Isabelle.  Our first granddaughter.  She was born two months’ early weighing in at a whopping 3 lbs. 3-1/2 oz. and 15” in length.  She is now four months old and has gained six pounds.  She is filling out nicely and smiles a lot.  Since she lives in Nevada, we Facetime a lot and I long for the day when I can hold her in my arms again.  We are so thankful for all the medical personnel who took care of Isabelle – both before and after her birth where she spent six weeks in the NICU.   Prior to Isabelle’s unexpected birth, her mother, Elyse, was monitored very closely by a team of doctors and nurses.  We are so thankful that when her blood pressure rose to 260/160, they immediately ordered a C-section – which saved Elyse’s life.   A...

Originally Written July 2019                    I remember that day in March when your dad sent us a text – yes! A text! – to tell us that another grandchild was in our future and that that grandchild is a GIRL!  I immediately grabbed my phone and called him.  He said that you were due in early September 2019.   During the months that followed that phone call, we found out that because your mom was already 45 years old, she was considered a high-risk patient and would require monthly ultrasounds to see how you were growing.  In March, you were the size of a small avocado.  In May, a chicken breast.    In June, when your mom and dad traveled to Minnesota to stay with us for a week, your mom had a “baby belly” and she could feel you moving a little bit.  After they returned home, however, they told us that the doctors wanted to increase the ultrasounds to twice a week since ...