It's a Different Kind of Christmas This Year

Originally Written in 2017

 

Instead of reading my Christmas newsletter or reading a story, I’d like to share with you what happened to me this week.  Some things that make it a Different Kind of Christmas for me.  Call it strange – or maybe odd or inexplicable are better words – but, different anyway.  

 

This is a Different Kind of Christmas for me this year.  You all know about the trials and tribulations of trying to get my aunt and uncle to each sign a Power of Attorney, Health Directive and Will before they passed away last December.  And… of course, the headache and heartache of emptying their home of 67 years and selling the house, etc.   

 

And, of course, being the main caregiver for my brother, Steve, who died on Father’s Day, was – and is – a very heartbreaking ordeal.  I miss him so much.

 

You may remember my missing our writing group meeting a couple of weeks ago so I could spend time with a friend of ours who had been placed into hospice.  Well, our dear friend, Lloyd died on December 6^th – St. Nicholas Day.  A very appropriate day since he had played Santa Claus to the neighborhood kids and school children for 26 years.  I was honored to be asked by his wife, Jan, to write his eulogy.

 

And, so – on Tuesday afternoon, I went over to her home and along with Jan and one of their daughters, Shawna, we spent over two hours reminiscing about Lloyd.  I got plenty of ammunition to add to my experiences with Lloyd and I spent the entire day on Wednesday writing about him.

 

I needed a quiet space in order to write.  I sat on the couch with my laptop and played soft Christmas music while I wrote.  I was deeply involved in trying to capture the true essence of Lloyd when the doorbell rang.  It was the UPS guy with a Christmas present!

 

I opened the present and decided to write my friend an email right away to thank her.  This involved her writing me back and me answering her and so on and so on.  So, you may think that was a nice break for me.  Not really. You see, I haven’t been on the best of terms with my friend for several months.  I won’t go into particulars; however, it was very hard for me to write to her.  Our relationship is different – sort of lost.  And that makes me sad.

 

While I was in my emails, a new one popped up.  This time it was from Marilyn - a good friend who moved away from Minnesota after retirement.  We haven’t seen each other in eight or nine years but communicated through Christmas cards.  She had received our Christmas card and wrote to let me know that her husband, Chuck, had died this year.

 

I immediately wrote back to Marilyn.  She wrote back to me and we discovered that we would both be in Phoenix in February and plan on getting together.   While writing back and forth, my phone rang and it was the Hospice Chaplain who cared for my aunt and uncle.  She called because it was the anniversary of their passing and we had a nice long talk.

 

So – out of the blue – while I’m writing a eulogy – I’m getting reminders of sad times: A gift from my estranged friend, a letter from a long-time friend with news of her husband’s death, and a phone call reminding me of my aunt and uncle.  My thoughts went to my brother and other friends and relatives who have died.

 

My heart was heavy as I continued to write Lloyd’s eulogy.  Then, my cell phone rang.  I didn’t recognize the number on the print out, but I answered it anyway.  Habit, I guess – and curiosity.  I said, “Hello.”  The female on the other end asked, “Is this Mary?”  I said, “It is.”  She then said, “Someone from St. Mary’s is praying for you.”  And, then she hung up.

 

St. Mary’s?  Hospital?  Church?  School?  What?  Isn’t that odd?  I guess the good Lord knew that I needed prayers at that time.  Too much sadness around me was really getting me down.  And whoever prayed for me did a great job!  I was able to finish Lloyd’s eulogy and even gave it on Saturday without breaking down – too much.

 

While scrolling through Facebook, I came across a song written and sung by Mark Schultz entitled A Different Kind of Christmas.  The lyrics capture how I’m feeling this Christmas. I’d like to share it with you.

 

                        Snow is falling Christmas Eve

                        Lights are coming on up and down the street

                        The sound of carols fills the air

                        And people rushing home, families everywhere.

 

                        Putting candles in the windows

                        Lights upon the tree

                        But there’s no laughter in this house

                        Not like there used to be

                        There’s just a million little memories

                        That remind me you’re not here

                        It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year.

 

                        There’s one less place set at the table

                        One less gift under the tree

                        And a brand new way to take their place inside of me.

                        

                        I’m unwrapping all these memories

                        Fighting back the tears

                        It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year.

 

                        There are voices in the driveway

                        Families right outside the door

                        And we’ll try to make this Christmas like the ones we’ve had before

                        As we gather round the table, I see joy on every face

                        And I realize what’s still alive is the legacy you made.

 

                        It’s time to put the candles in the windows, the lights upon the tree

                        It’s time to fill this house with laughter like it used to be

                        Just because you’re up in heaven doesn’t mean you’re not near

                        It’s just a different kind of Christmas

                        It’s just a different kind of Christmas this year.