Openings

Originally Written Between 2013-2015     

The first thought that came to me when I heard that the word, Openings, was the topic for today was the phrase, “When a door closes, a window opens.”  I thought long and hard on that phrase and tried to come up with different scenarios that could fit into my writing on Openings.  Somehow, nothing clicked for me.  So, I looked up that phrase in Google and found that the quote was originally credited to Alexander Graham Bell as follows:  

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Such as the grieving process.  I have one aunt and one uncle left in my family.  My mom’s brother, Tom, married Beverly 62 years ago.  Aunt Bev always gave my brother, sister, and me the best presents.  Even though they never had any children, Aunt Bev just knew the right gifts to give us for our age.  And, she continues to do so at the age of 91 – always something to help me decorate my table or home for the holidays, writing the best poetic thank you notes, or calling me just to see how I’m doing.

Well, last June, Bev called me to let me know that her only sibling – her 89-year old brother, Jerry, had been found unconscious in his bathroom and was now in the hospital.  However, he lived in Santa Monica, California.  Bev, of course, wanted to fly there and be with him; however, with all of the medical problems that both she and Uncle Tom had, that option was not open to them.  Norm and I offered to fly with them to California and drive them all around. But, they knew that they wouldn’t survive a trip like that, and respectfully declined.  That door was closed very tightly.  A lot of love was behind that door and Bev knew she would never see her brother again.   

But, God opened a little window. Jerry was moved from the hospital to a rehab facility – back to another hospital and to an assisted living home – then a nursing home and once more back to another hospital and assisted living.  Finally ending up in hospice for his last 11 days on earth.  Since June until October 15^th, Bev called her brother every day and had long chats with him.  Sometimes he was not able to say very much; but other times, they were able to laugh and cry about “the ol’ days” growing up in Eau Claire, Wisconsin.  She last talked to him about an hour before he died.  I think it’s sort of ironic that the inventor of the “closed door/open window” phrase was also the inventor of the telephone – Bev’s “open window” that kept her in contact with her only sibling. 

As Alexander Graham Bell said, “…we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”  It’s only been six days since Jerry’s been gone and I know that Bev must go through the whole grieving process.  But, how long does that take? I know that it’s different for each one of us.  Bev has 90 years of memories with Jerry and I have a feeling that it will probably take a long time.  Who knows how many times she will pick up her phone to call him.  She has a deep faith that I know will help her through this “winter” in her life.  Come Spring, Norm and I will drive Bev and Tom out to Eau Claire where she can properly say “good bye” to the best brother ever.

One usually thinks that new opportunities – or openings – normally happen when you are young:  graduating college and then getting your first job.  Leaving your parents’ home and getting your first house or apartment.  Or getting a divorce and starting a new life. …. things like that.

Then, brand new opportunities – or openings – normally happen in middle age when maybe your kids go off to school – or get married – or move completely out of your home.  Maybe the reverse? Such as the kids moving out and then moving back – maybe more than once?  

But, in the retirement years, I wonder if most people think that a new opportunity – or opening – occurs after a death of a spouse or a sibling.  They just continue on.  The door is closed and the thought that a window is opened doesn’t enter their mind.  But, I believe that there is an open window for Bev and at the right time for her, she will notice that it is open.