One-Page Comedy Sketch

Originally Written Between 2013-2015   

 

Email (computer):  Hi Michael, David, John and Rebecca. I’m just writing to see if you and your families would like to celebrate your dad’s birthday.  I’ll supply everything – picnic style with hamburgers and hotdogs and s’mores over the firepit.  It’s two weeks’ away on Sunday, the 13th.  Come around 1:00.  Let me know as soon as possible so I can get organized.  Love, Mom.

 

(A few days later…..)

 

Email (computer):  Hey, I left y’all a message regarding your dad’s birthday party over a week ago.  Only Rebecca responded that they would come.  Can the rest of you get back to me as soon as possible as to whether or not you and your family are coming? Thanks, Mom

 

(One week later…..)

 

LAND-LINE PHONE:  Okay, I know you guys screen your calls, so I’m leaving a voice-mail message this time – since you evidently don’t open up your emails anymore.  This Sunday –-  1:00 –-  my home –-  your dad’s birthday party.  Please call me back.  Mom.

 

PUT DOWN LAND-LINE PHONE.  Pretend that it rings.  THEN, PICK IT UP AND SAY:

 

LAND-LINE PHONE:   What do you mean “no one checks their voice-mail messages anymore?”  What do I have to do now to get anyone to call me back?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TEXT?  

 

PUT DOWN LAND-LINE PHONE AND PRETEND YOU ARE TEXTING ON IPHONE:

 

TEXT ON iPhone:  Having just spent over $300 on an iPhone and a two-year contract so I can communicate with all of you, please just text me back whether or not you are coming to your dad’s birthday party on the 13th.  At 1:00.  My home.  In case you don’t know who this is…. This is the woman who went through nine hours of hard labor to give birth to you.  You’re welcome.

 

(Sunday, the 13th….. @ 1:00pm)

 

TEXT ON iPhone:  Dinner’s ready.  Come and get it!

 

 

 

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