Memory

Originally Written in 2018                                                         

 

What day is it?           What time is the movie?       Where are my shoes?

What time is it?         Do I play golf today?             What time is the movie?

Did I take my pills?   Did I set the alarm?              Does the trash guy come today?

What time is the movie?

 

Such is a day in the life of someone who has a problem with remembering things.  We all have days in which we can’t remember if it’s Monday or Wednesday, if we took our meds or not or where we put our keys.  And that’s normal.  We all have moments like this.

 

But, what if those moments occur every day?  What if you think you took your meds but really didn’t?  Or – if you think you didn’t take them and you did – so you take another dose.  Or actually – that’s called a double-dose! 

 

Norm and I have been having more than our share of “memory episodes.” Norm  -- with actually having the episodes  -- and me -- with having to cope or handle them.

 

I’ve learned a few tricks that have helped us.  I have learned that when Norm asks me a question, I shouldn’t answer right away.  This is just enabling him.  The way I can help him is to show or tell him a way that he can find out the answer himself.  Such as:  Norm says, “What day is it?”  I answer:  “Look at the top of the newspaper that you are reading.”  The theory here is to get him to take that extra step and get in the habit of looking at the top of the newspaper when he wants to know what day it is.  Getting into the habit.  That’s what is going to help.  Because it’s harder to stop a habit and so he may continue to keep that habit longer than if he just learned that trick.  If he looks at the top of the paper – even if he has to do it several times – it becomes a habit.

 

I’ve taken over the distribution of his medications.  He takes three pills in the morning and five pills in the evening.  I keep his pillbox on the kitchen island and every morning I can tell if he’s taken his pills or not.  It’s harder in the evening.  Many times, while Norm is watching the TWINS or some sport on one TV, I find myself on another floor in another room watching my TV programs.  Sometimes, I fall asleep before Norm comes upstairs. And, many times, I’ll come downstairs in the morning and discover that Norm did not take his evening medications.  So, I make him take them as soon as possible.  

 

That’s not a good thing.  I’ve brought up this problem to a few of our friends and they have come up with a solution!  Use Alexa!!  You know – that little round thing that plugs into a wall outlet and you say, “Alexa! Remind me to take my medication at 8:00 every night!”  Now that sounds like it could work!  

 

But…… with Norm’s hearing problems (even though he wears hearing aids), he doesn’t always hear Alexa.  Plus…… Alexa is plugged into our living room.  The TV is in our den.  Or, our basement rec room.  Or, our bedroom on the second floor.  He is not around Alexa at 8:00 every night.  Now, you may suggest that we plug Alexa into the den.  Well, I just know that will be the night Norm decides to watch TV in the basement.  So, a solution would be to buy three more Alexa’s, or Echo Dot’s as they are called.  At $50 each, that’s $150 out of our pocket that I don’t feel like spending.  I think I’ll just print a message on some pretty paper that says, “TAKE YOUR PILLS!” and place it on his pillow.  That’ll work.

 

Now – let’s talk about the calendar.  I mark down every appointment, every birthday, every anniversary, etc. on our Master Calendar.  One page for every month.  But, to make it simple for the McGraw’s to know exactly what is going on each day, I write down our appointments for only a week at a time and place it on the kitchen island.  When the day is done, I “X” that day off – so it’s easier for Norm to know which day it is.  This system works really well for us.

 

As each day ends, I learn that I have to come up with many more tricks to keep us going.  The day may come when we will need more help than tricks.  In the meantime, we’ll just take it a day at a time.

 

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NOTE:  This was written in 2018.  Since then, we invested in a medication dispensing machine that is plugged in and one can set the alarm for four times a day.  It has a key for loading the machine with Norm’s medication.  Since I am “in charge” of loading and dispensing his pills, Norm has not missed a single dosage!