Best and Worst Vacation (Honeymoon)
It was a perfect day. Well, it rained all day. But, it was our wedding day. So…. It was a perfect day.
It was a perfect wedding ceremony. Well, the priest told us that we couldn’t have our soloist sing “The Great Amen” but, the soloist sang it anyway. I thought the priest was going to immediately stop the ceremony. He didn’t. It was our wedding day. And so, it was a perfect wedding ceremony.
Our photographer took perfect pictures of our wedding. Well, except for the fact that we weren’t allowed to take more than two pictures in the church itself and therefore, took most of the pictures in the hallway of the school. But, it was our wedding day. So, even though a huge double light switch is on the wall in every picture, we still have perfect pictures of our wedding.
It was a perfect wedding reception. Well, we couldn’t have a reception line outside of the church because of the rain and then we forgot to have one at the beginning of the reception. But, it was our wedding day. So, it was a perfect wedding reception.
After our reception ended, we had another party at my parent’s home. It was perfect. Especially after Ethel, the lady my mom hired to come early to set out the food and start the coffee, mopped up the 3 inches of water that had flooded the kitchen floor. Evidently, the bride put in her contacts at the kitchen sink earlier in the morning and forgot to unplug the sink and the faucet dripped for several hours and overflowed before Ethel came to save the day. But, it was our wedding day. So, it was a perfect party.
We had the perfect car to use for our honeymoon. My dad loaned us his brand new ’65 Chrysler. So, as we drove off in his shiny new car, my poor dad had to unload Norm’s ’57 Olds that was filled with balloons, and other trash that our “friends” had placed there to give us a hard time. But it was our wedding day, so it was perfect.
We had a perfect wedding night at the Sheraton Hotel in downtown Minneapolis. And, even though the bride evidently spent too much time in the bathroom that the groom drank the entire bottle of champagne, it was our wedding day. So, it was a perfect wedding night.
It was a perfect trip to the Wisconsin Dells, our first stop on our way to our honeymoon destination: Chicago. Well, the rain that fell on our wedding day actually followed us all the way to Chicago so we did not have a chance to actually spend any time in the Dells. But, it was our wedding and so it was a perfect trip to the Wisconsin Dells.
It was a perfect honeymoon in Chicago. Our hotel, which was located right across the street from the “’Boom Boom Room” was perfect. Cheap, but, it was our honeymoon, so it was perfect. (As a side note, when we returned to Chicago for our tenth anniversary, the hotel was gone; but, the “Boom Boom Room” was still there!)
But, I digress. We really did have a terrific honeymoon – at least for the first five days. You see, my wonderful, handsome, young husband told me that I could buy anything I wanted as his wedding gift to me. So, we drove into downtown Chicago and made our way to Marshal Field’s. We parked in the huge underground parking lot and entered the building. I knew immediately what I wanted: a new winter coat. We took the elevator to the 4th floor and after several “try-on’s”, I found the perfect coat. Norm liked it, too, and we bought it. However, it needed to be altered. I think they wanted to put the Marshal Field’s logo in the lining or some odd thing like that. Anyway, the clerk told us that my coat would be ready for pick up in three days. That was fine with us. It was only September after all and so there really was no hurry. Besides – we were staying a full week in Chicago.
During those three days, we visited the Science Museum, the Zoo, the horse races, heard Peggy Lee sing in a nightclub, and saw the Jackson Five in the lobby of the Parker House.
Now, it’s Friday and time to pick up my coat. Since all I had to do was go into the store and get it, we decided that Norm would just drop me off at the entrance and drive around the block a couple of times while I went into the store.
Did you know that the Marshal Field’s building took up an entire block? And that it had an entrance on each of the four streets surrounding the building? We didn’t. Norm just dropped me off and I skipped into the first entrance I saw. But, nothing looked familiar to me. I didn’t remember seeing the perfume counter three days before. And I sure didn’t remember walking past any furniture. Where was I? Where are the elevators? After about ten minutes, I finally found a set of elevators and went immediately to the fourth floor. You may be asking – why didn’t you ask anyone? I don’t really have an answer except I was a shy 21-year old from a small town that didn’t even have stop lights and I was told not to talk to strangers. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!
Did you also know that Marshal Field’s had several coat departments on the fourth floor? Neither did I. After another 15 minutes of being sent from one section to another, I finally found my coat! The sales lady then had to find a box, load it with a huge amount of tissue paper and place my coat – just so – in the box….. wasting another ten minutes. I rushed back to the elevator and then headed for the exit. Hmmmm….. didn’t I come in by the perfume? Where am I? I figured that Norm would eventually find me if just stand outside the door.
Now, all this time, Norm has been driving around the block. And, you will have to remember that this was 1965. The cell phone had not yet been invented. The thought of changing our plan and just parking in the parking garage was not an option for Norm. He knew I wouldn’t be looking for him in the garage and he knew there was no way to get ahold of me.
It’s now 45 minutes since Norm dropped me off and he had been going around the block ever since. Did I mention that it is noon and the streets and sidewalks are crowded? Did you know that Chicago has a lot of “No Left Turn” signs? Norm didn’t either. Every time he made a left-hand turn, someone would pound the hood of my dad’s brand new Chrysler with their fist and yell at Norm. What we had thought would be a five-minute errand had now turned into an hour nightmare!
Finally, I see Norm and wave him down. I jump into the car, throw my huge box into the back seat and turn to him for a “welcome back” kiss. Instead of a kiss, Norm glares at me and says, ….. “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?”
My husband of six days had YELLED at me! My husband of six days SWORE at me! My husband of six days was MAD at me! Our first fight had meant that our perfect honeymoon was now over.
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