Accidents

 Originally written Between 2013-2015

“Okay, now make a right-hand turn at the corner,” said the officer.  “Wow, that was a beautiful right-hand turn. Too bad you drove through the stop sign.  Please take another right and go back to your starting point.  By law, I could give you a ticket; but, because this is your first driver’s test, I’ll just fail you.  Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait a week to take the test again.”

And, so, that was the beginning of my quest to pass my driver’s test at the age of 15.  Now, it really wasn’t my fault.  I took my test at my high school in Forest Lake.  We didn’t have many stop signs in those days.  In fact, the stop sign I drove through became a stop sign only at the beginning and end of each school day.  During the rest of the day, the word “stop” was blocked out.  One could just drive on that street and never stop.  And, that was what I was used to seeing whenever I practiced during my lessons.  I think that…. really….. it was my driving instructor’s fault.  He didn’t tell me that the stop sign would say STOP during my actual test.  But – as my examiner told me:  “You are not always going to be driving around the streets of Forest Lake.  There will be a time when you will venture out into the unknown and will have to be aware of all the signs, lights, and laws around you.”

I also had another predicament.  The driver’s test was only given once a year at the high school.  Since I couldn’t just get in line and try again that day, my only chance of getting my license that year was to take the test in St. Paul.  Yes, that’s right.  The Cities.  Only twenty-five miles south of Forest Lake.  Not far, you say?  Well, when one remembers that back in the late ‘50’s, the only way to get to St. Paul was “old one-lane going each way Highway 61” – that’s right – no freeway to or from anywhere!  Another difference between Forest Lake and St. Paul at that time was the fact that Forest Lake did not have any red/yellow/green stop and go lights.   Now, you may think…. So what?  

Well, fast forward one week to the day of my second driving test.  I remember that my dad drove our car to the test location – at University and Prior.  City streets.   Two lanes going in each direction.  I made it through the right-hand turns, the left-hand turns, the famous “quick stop,” using my turn signal appropriately, driving in reverse, and parallel parking.  Well, I didn’t pass parallel parking, but at least I didn’t fail the whole test.

Okay – I’m two blocks from the end of the test.  Feeling pretty good since I’m sure I haven’t lost too many points. The examiner instructs me to make a right-hand turn onto University.  I check my mirror.  I signal my turn.  I look to the left, then right, and then left again.  And, I make a beautiful right-hand turn.  The officer said, “Boy, that was a beautiful right-hand turn.  Too bad you went through the red light.  I have to fail you right now and unfortunately you won’t be able to take the test again today.  You have to wait another week.  Please make another right-hand turn and park in the last parking spot in the lot.” 

I’m sorry.  But, again – this really wasn’t my fault.  I had never seen a stop light before.  We never practiced with stop lights during driver’s training because Forest Lake didn’t have one!  My dad reminded me of what the first examiner told me – that I wasn’t going to be sheltered in good ol’ Forest Lake for the rest of my life and that I would have to learn to drive defensively and be alert to my surroundings.

It’s now a week later.  University and Prior.  Left-hand turn?  Check!  Right-hand turn at the light?  Check!  Parallel parking?  Nope – but I only lost a few points.  Quick stop?  Check!  I finally passed!  I don’t remember my score.  I just know it was above 70.  Probably 77 or something like that.  But, I still passed!  Third time’s the charm, I guess.

My driving career has, of course, progressed very nicely.  Some people love to drive and insist on doing all the driving.  I really don’t like to drive all that much and will certainly let anyone take over that job if they insist.  Maybe it’s because I have had a few accidents – or “fender benders.”  Just little things like backing into a pole that was in the middle of a parking lot.  (Who places a pole in the middle of a parking lot?) Or, backing out of the garage and turning the wheel before I was actually out of the garage (well, I was late for an appointment and wasn’t paying attention).  And once, I was at a four-way stop and since I was the one on the right who got to the intersection first, I assumed that the person on my left would allow me to go first.  I was wrong. 

I’m also directionally challenged.  Two examples:  A few years ago, Neil Diamond gave a concert at the Target Center in downtown Minneapolis.  I didn’t know the streets of Minneapolis at all but was assured by my four girlfriends that they would give me directions.  We found Target and I parked my car.  Wonderful concert.  We were so busy talking and laughing while leaving the parking garage that no one bothered to tell me how to get home.  Somehow, we ended up at the airport!  But… that was good news!  I knew how to get home from the airport and even though it took us an extra 45 minutes, I got them all home.

My other example also pertains to driving in downtown Minneapolis.  My boss at the time knew that I wasn’t confident in giving him directions (this was way before GPS was invented).  So, he actually placed a goal in my Individual Performance Plan to quote:  Drive by yourself to the Wells Fargo Bank on 6^th and Marquette in Minneapolis – and return – all by yourself.  Well, it took me all afternoon; but, I did it!  I didn’t tell him that I drove down the Nicollet Mall and was told by the kind policeman that I wasn’t allowed to do that.  Well, what I want to know is – where are the signs that say that you can’t drive on the mall?  There are just too many signs, lights, traffic, and people in downtown Minneapolis to do the right thing all the time!  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

I know I really have improved my driving skills, however, because Norm says I’m really good at telling him how to drive.  And, that’s why we have agreed to never again take a driving trip together again.  We will fly instead.