The Marriage Proposal

 Originally Published Dec. 2012                                                                                                                                                                        

I had it all figured out.  Norm and I had been dating since May.  It was now December – just a week or so before Christmas.  Every couple in our “gang” was getting engaged.  And, I figured it was our turn.  After all – we had been saying, “I Love You,” for at least three or four months.  A marriage proposal was certainly going to happen.  And, it was my intention to make sure it happened sooner rather than later.  

Norm lived in St. Paul near the College of St. Thomas.  I lived on the East side of St. Paul in an apartment with a co-worker from 3M.  We saw each other at least two or three times a week and of course, had dates on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  In other words, we were “going steady” … a term that isn’t used nowadays, but was certainly popular in the ‘60’s.

Of course I wanted MY marriage proposal to be the most romantic ever.  Norm was rather shy (it had taken him three dates before he kissed me and I had to be the first one to hold hands while walking down the street), so, I knew I had to be the one to “set the scene” for this very important occasion. 

The location had to be perfect.  And what better place than sitting in front of a roaring fire, light romantic music in the background, candles lit strategically around the living room, and no roommates or others around.  

Now – where would I find a place like that?  My apartment certainly wasn’t the right place.  I know – my parent’s home in Forest Lake!  They had a beautiful and comfortable living room with a huge fireplace at one end of the room.  Two, big overstuffed couches faced each other next to the fireplace.  They had a stereo with lots of great music.  They had wine and candles.  And since they both worked evenings, they would be GONE!

And, since it was close to Christmas, their home was already decorated with a tree in a corner near the fireplace and lots of flowers and candles.  How perfect was this?  I’d say on a scale of one to ten, this was a 20!

I had to first arrange the date with Norm.  I told him that since my parents wouldn’t be home on Friday night, it would be great to spend the evening there and exchange our Christmas presents.  Am I smart or what???!!  I made sure my mom and dad were BOTH going to be away and even shared with my mom that I was sure Norm was going to pop the big question that night!

Okay.  Here it is – Friday night.  Norm is on his way to Forest Lake.  I lit the fire and the candles.  Turned on the Christmas tree lights.  Turned OFF the other lights.  The Christmas music is playing softly in the background.  I looked gorgeous, of course.  I had on my prettiest red sweater (red is my favorite color) and took extra time with my hair and make up (not too much – Norm doesn’t like much make up).  I even had hors d’ouerves out.  Well – okay, chips and dip.  I didn’t know how to cook – but I had a lot of time to be married and learn that skill – right?

He’s here!  Yay – (I’m going to get married!  I’m going to get married!)  Norm kissed me when he came through the door.  Good sign.  He carried a box wrapped in Christmas paper.  Another good sign.  Rather a large box, though.  I reasoned that he probably had the ring box in a larger box – and then a much larger box – and so on.  Oh, he is so clever!  

Well, we snuggled up on the couch.  I offered him a drink.  I honestly can’t remember what we drank or even if we ate the chips.  All I remember is that I was soooooooo excited.

Now – time for the presents to be opened.  I said, “open mine first.”  I just knew that after I had opened mine, we would probably forget to even look at his.  So, he opened up my gift – a portable radio.  A perfect gift since Norm’s car did not have a radio.  I reason that since his car would soon be OUR car, I was sort of killing two birds with one stone.

Okay – MY turn!!!!  I slowly opened the box.  It had the words “Bockstrucks” on the cover.   Bockstrucks was a jewelry store in St. Paul.  Inside that box was a grey jewelry box.  (eeeeeeeeee!)  Inside that box was an absolutely stunning …. string of pearls.  I believe that I would have won the Academy Award for Best Actress that year for the way I hid my disappointment.  Granted, the pearls were beautiful and I truly loved them.  But, honestly, they would not have looked that great twisted around the third finger of my left hand.

We really did have a beautiful Christmas and New Year’s Eve and continued to “go steady.”  I learned that I wasn’t going to be able to maneuver Norm into doing anything he wasn’t ready to do.  So, I stopped thinking about getting engaged and just enjoyed the time we spent together and grew to love him more and more.

Three months after that unforgettable gift opening evening, Norm left for Bermuda to fulfill his two-week’s Coast Guard duty.  He even gave me his car to use while he was gone – he must truly love me to let me drive his car!  

After the l-o-n-g two weeks were done, I picked him up at the airport and we went out to dinner at The Lexington Restaurant in St. Paul.  We had a lovely meal; but, I noticed that Norm was very quiet and didn’t even finish his steak.  Oh, Oh….. he’s going to break up with me.  You know the saying, “Out of sight, out of mind?”  Two weeks without seeing each other must have done something to him.

After dinner, we drove back to my apartment.  What?  It’s a Friday night, we haven’t seen each other for two weeks and it’s only 8:00?  What in the world is going on?

He parked in my “parking stall” - #104 - in the lot in front of my apartment building.  Right under the street lamp.  Well, I thought.  If he’s going to break up with me, I’d rather have it happen right away.  So, I said, “What’s on your mind?”

He said, “I’m thinking I want you to be my wife.  Will you marry me?” 

And while this wasn’t the exact evening that I had planned months before, we:

·      were alone

·      we were well fed from our dinner

·      we had a fire --  from the car’s engine

·      we had candlelight – from the street lamp, and

·      we had soft music – from his portable radio

and, I finally got to say the word that I had been practicing for months.  “Yes”.