Practical Jokes

 Originally Published Dec. 2012

I love jokes.  I don’t mind hearing them a second or third time because I usually don’t remember the punch line.  I enjoy a really good joke where I’m so totally surprised by the ending that I laugh and laugh for a really long time.  I do have a problem with jokes; however, and that is….. I am not good at repeating them to anyone else.  

I have a repertoire of ….. one joke that I can remember….. and recite with enthusiasm, perfect timing and a punch line that leaves everyone laughing.  Except for this one time I told the joke to a relatively new circle of friends.  Actually, they were friends of our friends so we really didn’t know them all that well.  Anyway, I really liked my joke and since I had told it a few times before in different social settings and it was well accepted, I decided to share it with our new friends.  I bombed.  I gave the punch line and except for Norm, they all stood there and looked at me.  Then, they all must have felt sorry for me because I could hear a little bit of “he he” coming from the back of the room and then everyone sort of started talking amongst themselves and that was the end of it.  No one paid any attention to me (thank goodness!).  

Now, I could see where one would not appreciate hearing an off-color, or racist, or a mean joke; but, this was a funny joke!  Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell it here in my story… ‘cuz  I don’t want to live through another episode of being rejected for the one and only joke that I can remember.

What about practical jokes?  Nope!  I’m not good at those either.  I was at a meeting a few days ago and one of the guys there talked about all these practical jokes he had played on lots and lots of his pals at work – or when he was in the military.  He has a great sense of humor and thoroughly enjoys thinking them up - setting the stage - following through - and then reminiscing and laughing about it afterwards.  He sometimes got into a lot of trouble with his jokes – but somehow has lived to do it again… and again!

I like funny birthday cards.  Sometimes, you will find me in the card aisle at Target for at least a half an hour – just laughing and laughing – trying to find just the perfect card.  But, you know?  A lot of these cards about the aging process – you know the ones – the ones about incontinence, poor eyesight and hearing, wrinkles, grey hair or no hair – just are not as funny as they used to be!  I’ll start to laugh as I read them and then realize that sometimes, they are just too true to be actually funny.  But, I buy them anyway and mail them to my friends just the same.

Speaking of cards, I want to tell you about what my parents always gave each other on Valentine’s Day.  Day would buy the most beautiful, flowery and mushy Valentine for mom.  He’d always sign it “love, your ol’ man.”  She would proudly display the card on the TV console for all to see.  She, also, would give dad an equally mushy lovey dovey card.  But…. She never sealed it.  She would tuck the flap inside the envelope and hand it to dad.  He’d open it, read it, and say, “I love you, too” and give it back it her to place it on the TV.  After a few days, she’d take the cards down.  She’d place the card from dad in a special drawer that she had filled with all cards she wanted to save.  And, the card she originally gave to dad?  She’d place it and the envelope in another drawer to give to him the next year.  She did this every Valentine’s Day for years and years.  And, the funny thing is?  Dad never noticed!  He’d just open the card, read it, and say, “I love you, too” and give it back to her.  Now…..  does that classify as a “practical joke?”