Mother of the Year

Originally Published Dec. 2012

It was going to be a glorious weekend – eight of our closest friends and Norm and I were going to drive to Milwaukee to stay and play with another couple in our group who had moved to Wisconsin earlier that year.  We hadn’t had a weekend away from the kids for a long, long time and I was so looking forward to being with adults, shopping, eating out, and making good memories with our dear friends.  Tom had volunteered his huge van and we were all to meet at 1:00 PM on Friday at his home.

I had it all planned.  Even though our oldest was in college and the next two were in high school, we still needed someone to stay with our youngest child, Rebecca, who was in sixth grade.  So, my mom was enlisted to stay at our home and keep an eye on everyone.  Mom would arrive at our home by 3:30 when Rebecca got out of school.   I took the day off from work in order to shop for groceries, pack our clothes, and clean the house (mom was coming after all).  Norm was out of town on business, but would be home in plenty of time for us to leave at 1:00.

Around 11:00 AM, however, I received a phone call from the school nurse.  She explained that Rebecca was one of about 50 kids who came down with the flu and I should come and pick her up.  What was I to do?  Of course, I picked her up, brought her home, gave her some Tylenol and tucked her in.  I called mom and told her that I didn’t want her getting the flu so she was off the hook for babysitting.  I called our friends and canceled out.  But, boy was I bummed!  I wanted to get out of town so badly.  I needed to get out of town.  I deserved to get out of town.  But, that’s motherhood for you.  Certainly there would be other chances to “play” with our friends….. right?  Ya, when all our kids were married, I thought.

Well, Norm saved the weekend for me.  When he arrived home and learned what happened, he said, “You know, I just got done driving three hours and really don’t relish the thought of sitting in a car for another six hours today.  Rebecca’s fine.  She just has the flu.  We’ve got Tylenol, 7-Up, soup and a comfortable bed for her.  If she’s better tomorrow, your mom can come over and I’ll just drive to Milwaukee and join you.  You’ve been looking forward to this little vacation for a long time.  Just go!  I can take care of her.”

But….. I’m the MOM!  I’m supposed to sacrifice my life for my children!  I felt guilty for a few minutes until I realized that this would give Norm a chance to be the DAD.  Rebecca didn’t care one way or the other.  She just wanted to sleep.  Therefore, I called our friends, explained the situation, and made sure I was at Tom’s house by 1:00!  Believe me, I got out of our house before any one could change their mind!

At this point in my story, I have to explain that this all happened in 1987 – way before cell phones were invented.  You will soon learn why this is an important fact to remember.

It is now 6:30 PM and we just pulled into Ken and Patty’s driveway in Milwaukee.  They then piled in the van and we left for one of their favorite restaurants.  When we arrived, I found the nearest pay phone and called home -- “collect” – to check in and find out how Rebecca was doing.  No answer.  That’s strange!  Maybe the operator dialed incorrectly.  I tried again.  Still no answer.  I couldn’t imagine why no one would answer and decided to try again in a little while.  So, I ordered my dinner and after eating, tried again.  No answer.  Now, I’m worried.  I figured that if anyone would know what was going on, it would be my mom.  So, I called her - collect.  She said, “Oh, Mary, I’m so glad you called.  Rebecca’s temperature got worse this afternoon and she was in a lot of pain so Norm took her to the doctor.  She should be getting out of surgery about now – her appendix was about to burst.”

What?  My little girl is going through surgery and I’m not with her? Mom gave me the number at the hospital and I was able to reach Norm – charging the call, of course, to our Milwaukee friends.  The first question I asked was whether or not she received a huge dosage of antibiotics before they performed the surgery.  (As an aside, Rebecca had a heart condition that necessitated her having antibiotics prior to any surgery or dental work.)  

Norm had no idea what I was talking about since he wasn’t THE MOM!  He didn’t take her to every doctor appointment.  He didn’t keep tabs on what she shouldn’t eat or do.  He didn’t give her Lanoxin every 12 hours for the first year of her life.  I DID!  THE MOM!  And, now this MOM was 350 miles away from her child – and couldn’t be with her when she needed her!  All because I was selfish and wanted to get away from the kids, the dog, the house, and work and have a little bit of fun in my life.  Not that having kids, a dog, a house and work wasn’t fun – but you understand what I mean….. don’t you?

I asked Norm if I should try to get on the next flight back to Minneapolis.  He said, “No, Rebecca is fine.  She’s probably going to sleep the next couple of days and I’ll be with her the whole time.  The boys are old enough to fend for themselves.  You stay and have a good time.  When you come back on Sunday, come to the hospital and see Rebecca then.”

So, what does a mom do when she’s 350 miles away and is at the mercy of ten other people having a good time?  She shops, of course!  While the guys played football and went to a movie on Saturday, the six women hit the local mall.  I bought what my friends would call GUILT GIFTS.  I came home with presents for the “poor little girl in the hospital whose mother abandoned her” --  a Wisconsin sweatshirt, a cute pair of pants, a bracelet and necklace, balloons, and candy.

I made it through Saturday.  But, by Sunday morning, I really was quite anxious to get in that van and head on home.  However, I was again at the mercy of the driver and his male friends who wanted to first see the Vikings game before leaving Wisconsin.  This meant we did not leave until after 3:00 Sunday afternoon.  Six hours of driving (and don’t forget a supper break) brought us to Tom’s house where at 10:00 at night, I grabbed my suitcase and bag of guilt gifts, got into my car and drove to Fairview Riverside Hospital.  I finally found Rebecca’s room when I’m greeted by one of her nurses who said, “Oh, you’re the mom.”  Yes, the MOTHER OF THE YEAR has arrived!  I ran into the room and woke up Rebecca.  She looked at me and said, “Oh, hi mom.  What’d you bring me?”