Goals in Life

Originally Published Dec. 2012

“And, what do you want to be when you grow up little girl?”  I remember being asked that question at different stages in my life.  As a really little girl, I wanted to be a princess, a dancer (or ballerina – even though I never took ballet lessons), or a bride.  When I entered grade school, of course I wanted to be a teacher.  Or a cowgirl or a girl detective, or a nun.  Being a teacher was still a choice a couple of years later, when I had added nurse or a secretary to that list.

After I had figured out that I couldn’t be a bride and a nun at the same time, my idea of a good life was to travel – so becoming a stewardess made the top of my list.  Even though I had never been in an airplane.  These were a female’s “choices” back in the late ‘50’s and early ‘60’s…. no one ever considered typical male occupations – that of   being a doctor – or a manager or executive who gave direction to a secretary.  My career path was geared to typical “service-type” roles that only women would do.  That’s just how it was. 

I remember sitting in my counselor’s office in 8^th grade and listening to my mother and counselor selecting courses for me that would ensure that I would have the right classes and credits to attend college.  That’s the first time I heard my mother talk about college with me.  I had really never thought about going on to school.  Never thought that in order to be a teacher or a nurse that I would have to go on to school after high school graduation.  But, I was only 12 or 13 – heck, I had just given up playing with paper dolls only a year prior to that meeting with the counselor!

I didn’t like math or science and honestly, took the bare minimum of credits I needed of those courses in order to graduate.  I, instead, concentrated on English, history, Spanish, speech, communication and, of course, typing and shorthand – Because, you see, I chose to be a secretary.  And I was good at it.  Top of my class in typing at 110 words per minute on an electric typewriter.   Shorthand was like another language – I loved it.  

I got a job as a secretary at 3M for the summer between high school graduation and the start of college.  I was enrolled in the College of St. Scholastica in Duluth to major in Library Science – a major that my mother had picked out for me because it was the only major that even resembled a business course.  I didn’t want to go there.  I didn’t really want to go anywhere because I was working at 3M doing exactly what I wanted to do.  I was promoted from working with a manager to working with a Director six weeks after I started.  In my mind, I had already achieved my goal – that of becoming a secretary and quickly climbing up that career laddar.  And so, I stayed at 3M and over the next four-to-five years, I moved into an apartment in St. Paul with three other roommates, made new friends, met Norm and got married, quit my job and started our family.

So, now let’s talk about new goals.  Not career-wise goals; but, inner goals.  A sense of purpose.  What ambitions did I have?  Any new aspirations?  Well, again – back in those days, a girl didn’t really have many options.  Go to high school.  Graduate.  Get a job.  Maybe go to college.  Graduate.  Get a job. Get married.  Quit job.  Have babies and become a stay-at-home mom.  Then…. After the last child enters school, find a part-time job that enables one to be at home when the kids came home from school.  And, that’s the path that I followed.

I knew I wanted more that singing 50 rounds of the Alphabet Song every day.  Finally, I was old enough to want to go to college.  So, at the age of 41, I started taking classes at Anoka-Ramsey and ended up at Metro State University.  Working full time and raising four kids didn’t leave me much time to attend classes and study, so it took me nine years – graduating one week shy of my 50^th birthday.

So, that was one goal I could check off on my bucket list.  Yes, I have a bucket list.  But, only until that movie came out a few years ago did I realize that my mental image of things that I always wanted to see or accomplish was actually called a bucket list.  I have been able to check off:  getting married, having kids, buying a house, owning my own car, seeing my kids grow up to be happy, graduating college, taking a cruise, having great friendships, visiting many countries in Europe, attending the U.S. Tennis Open, having grandchildren, and just plain being happy.

And, the one goal that I have just now been able to accomplish is being right here with all my fellow writers.  I love writing my stories.  I love the challenge of writing on topics that test me – such as haiku – or fiction - or poetry.  It’s always good, I think, to reach out and try to do something out of your comfort zone.  And, that’s what this group does for me.  I’ve learned so much from all of you and I thank you for coming into my life.  One of my newest goals is to publish my stories for my kids.  Not a book to sell – but to enable my children and grandchildren to learn a little bit about the “inner me” – not only my experiences; but, how I felt, what I believed, how I reacted to good or bad experiences, and how I loved.