A Character Sketch - Melanie

 Originally Published Dec. 2012

I had to google “Character Sketch” in order to figure out what to write today.  There was a wealth of information and after reading several examples, one thought kept coming back to me.  Writing a character sketch is like writing a eulogy!  And so, even though the “character” I’ve chosen to write about is not what I would call a “character” in the normal sense of that word (someone with unusual or distinctive qualities), she is someone I think you would have wanted to know…. my sister-in-law, Melanie Vogel.

 

I first met Melanie when we were both in our early twenties and she had started dating my brother, Steve.  I remember my mom telling me that Steve was really smitten with a girl he had met at work.  This tiny little dark-haired cutie had caught his eye and soon we were all involved in wedding plans.  At that time, I was a stay-at-home mother and I envied Melanie… the career person who wore 3” heels and beautiful clothes.  I was so jealous… of her tiny waist and her beautiful long dark hair…. which was perfectly styled at all times.

 

Initially, Melanie was very shy around our talkative family.  And, it took her a few years to hold her own in our conversations because she was always a soft and calm speaker.  I don’t think I ever heard her raise her voice.  She didn’t monopolize any conversation, but when she did speak, it was worth hearing.

 

We (my brother, sister, and me, along with spouses) had such fun together.  We all lived in different states and only saw each other on special occasions; so when we did get together, we made the most of it… usually house parties playing Tripoli.  I remember that while the rest of us would be yelling and screaming, it was usually Melanie who would quietly say, “Queen, King, Ace” and scoop up all the piles of pennies.

 

I can think of a couple of words that best describe Melanie:  “Family” is one and “Caregiver” is another. 

 

Steve and their sons, of course, were the lights of her life.  Melanie gave all her attention to her family.  Steve loves to hunt.  And, while I’m not sure Melanie ever actually shot a gun, she was game to travel with Steve to his hunting spots – in their little trailer or later on, day trips in the truck.  She would bring her books, a cooler filled with food and drink, and of course, the dog.  Just being with Steve was of utmost importance for her.  Because…. Family came first.

 

Throughout all their school years, Melanie was the one who spent every night helping her boys with their homework.  And, you can be sure that Melanie attended each one of their baseball and basketball games.  Because…. Family came first.

 

Holidays were important for Melanie.  Christmas Eve always meant that a couple of Steve’s pheasants or ducks were on the menu.  For several years, my family, along with our mom and dad, would travel out to Steve and Mel’s hobby farm on the first Saturday in December.  Then, off to the Santa Claus Tree Farm to chop down our Christmas trees for the season.  Melanie would make a huge pot of chili and the cousins would play in the barn and then give us rock concerts.  A fun day filled with lots of memories and tradition.  Because…. Family came first.

 

Melanie chose her role as a wife and a mother.  However, the role of “Caregiver” is not one anyone chooses.  It is given to those extraordinary individuals, like Melanie, who embrace the role with poise, grace, and unfailing love.  

 

She was a caregiver from day one.  For instance, Melanie and her sister, Maureen, took care of their mother for several months before she passed away.  This entailed taking turns staying over night, making and attending doctor appointments, giving shots, and all the other details involved in caring for the sick.  I never heard Melanie grumble or complain.  Dorothy was her mom after all and her family was her life.  Because…. Family came first.

 

Melanie never thought that her caring for others was a burden; especially with Steve and his many health problems.  It was just one of those things that came with the “in sickness and in health” portion of their marriage vows.

 

Melanie died August 21, 2007 at the age of 62 from cancer.  I miss her terribly.  But, just writing this gave me the opportunity to re-live some great memories and to share a very special person with all of you.  I wish you all could have known her.